I am an aspiring fantasy writer. My first attempt on a book is almost finished. I never thought it would take me more than seven months to write the last chapter, but it is taking at least that long. The reason is that without revising the story I can't make the end I want work. So, for the most part, I don't write the last chapter; I read and revise the previous ones. One problem is more prominent than anything else:
Everyday Knowledge
I need to give a lot of everyday knowledge about the world I write into being to the readers. How to do that? I don’t want to lecture to the reader. I’ve read lots and lots of books, and I don't like it if the writer suddenly stops the narrative and starts to lecture me about good manners, religious ceremonies, clothing, or nuances of cursing. Such passages take me out of the action and thereby out of the story.
I don’t understand why writers would do that. The characters that are set to play in the world of the story achieved the knowledge as they grew up; they behave as they should, they know the religious ceremonies, they clothe themselves appropriately and they use swear words that the situation demands. I like it if that kind of information is shown to me, not told. So, I know how I should offer the information to the reader. However, I find the actual task quite demanding.
My first version of such a passage:
Everyday Knowledge
I need to give a lot of everyday knowledge about the world I write into being to the readers. How to do that? I don’t want to lecture to the reader. I’ve read lots and lots of books, and I don't like it if the writer suddenly stops the narrative and starts to lecture me about good manners, religious ceremonies, clothing, or nuances of cursing. Such passages take me out of the action and thereby out of the story.
I don’t understand why writers would do that. The characters that are set to play in the world of the story achieved the knowledge as they grew up; they behave as they should, they know the religious ceremonies, they clothe themselves appropriately and they use swear words that the situation demands. I like it if that kind of information is shown to me, not told. So, I know how I should offer the information to the reader. However, I find the actual task quite demanding.
My first version of such a passage:
The song disappointed little Tomas. A young maiden committed a suicide because of a broken heart. It was just like all the other ballads Mellersdans women sang. Tomas had adopted the attitudes of the men of the village: they did not respect women and they did not find their interests worth a thought. According to men, women were always wasting their time, listening for love songs.
My first revised version:
Tomas was disappointed. The song was just a stupid ballad: just one more young maiden killing herself because of love. Tomas drawled the word out in his mind like he had heard the men do. Women’s stuff. They were always listening to these stupid love songs.
I think I can revise the passage further, but it’s already improved.
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